What happens when mentally unstable has become your default?
When you expect things to go wrong or be worried or anxious?
But then you’re not.
The fear remains though. You’re still on tenterhooks, waiting to snap.
You wait for your mind to crack. To shatter and break and the familiar feelings to come flooding back.
They are your comfort. The safe house. The natural. The routine.
But they don’t come. Instead you cope.
And that’s nice but…. unknown.
You don’t do coping. You do failing. You do breaking down.
Your brain disagrees now. You’re doing it. You’re being ‘fine’. You. Are. Coping.
So am I better now?
Now I can cope.
Or will I always be waiting until I break again?